A Dream

The haze from the early morning fog covered his body. Almost as if wrapped in a blanket of silky, white milk. Everything was unclear. As he took a deep breath, moisture wrapped his nostrils and invaded his lungs. What was he doing standing naked outside. The early chill made him feel alive and aware of almost every sound and smell. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a blurred figure move slowly, but could not make it out. Moving was impossible. Suddenly he realized he was tied to a post. His hands and legs bound by chains. Helplessly, he tried to cry out for anyone. There was a gag shoved into his mouth. Spitting it out was not only impossible, but he could feel his saliva dripping onto his bare, muscular chest. He could feel his heart pounding. So loudly that it felt like a drum beating. "What is going on," he yelled. The yell was turned into a muffled garble from the device in his mouth.
A flash of red from the figure again caught his eye. There wasn't enough light to make out what it was. Shiny silver circles gleamed on the red in the early morning dawn. On his neck was the stunning sensation of warm breath. It snaked across his ears, almost hissing at him. A lonely, solitary voice whispered in his right ear. "Got you right where I want you, isn't that right slave." He shivered. Struggled. Even whimpered as he realized there was no possible escape. "Help me, please," he whined. Again the voice softly told him there was no help, no aid, no hope. Fingernails slowly reached around his hips and gently scratched him on his crotch as he lurched up. "I am going to do things to you that you can't even imagine." The cold morning air was almost cruel mixed with her touch. He could now see her red vinyl outfit. Sleek and almost tempting him to try to touch it in anyway possible. The alarm woke him suddenly out of this cruel and erotic state. As he looked down he as covered in his own semen. With the smell of the cold morning air still in his nose.

Collared

He received the confirmation of a journey started long ago. There were no names or labels put on it years ago when his mind slowly drifted to thinking of it. It was strangely comfortable sitting in the Mistress's home going over details and tasks. Puppet kept thinking to himself is this really happening. Am I finally being owned by someone who is dominant, intelligent, and beautiful. Her inner kindness kept him focused on the discussion at hand. He was signing a contract to be her's. To give himself, unworthy though he felt, to this goddess like creature. To be used for her bidding and pleasure. His only fear was of disappointing the Mistress he had come to respect so much. Contract signed and collar fitted, it was time to thank her and become the submissive she had invested so much time in. There was no doubt that he wanted this. Yearning for this balance to make his soul whole and create a world with her that would fulfill her every wish and need. It was done. Signed. Given! This was now like a journey down a dark road with no lights. Whatever happened next he would be guided by the Mistress he trusted. It would be a story they would write together. He just wondered if he was enough for her. The fear of not being what she wanted and rising to meet her every challenge without failing, scared the hell out of him. It was time he found out how strong he was. Time to become what he knew he could. No crop or knot was going to stop him. He was collared, now he had to earn it!

Selfishness

Sorry, I have to comment on some people and their continued sad, pathetic excuses for treating their friends like shit. This has nothing to do with those whom I have met in the D/s community or online. I have had encounters over the last couple of days with people from my past who assume it is ok to take advantage of a good friend, a father, or a person in general. Most people these days, unless a single mother, soldier, or giving person have no idea how to give up what they need in order to please others. This pleasure is not of a sexual nature. It is a caring and kindness that comes with trusting others to return the sentiments to yourself. I have no idea how to be selfish. My concern for myself is only generated so that I may give to others. Shouldn't this be returned. I can't be alone in thinking that what is given is far more rewarding than those feelings that only take. Life is not measured in we have, but what we give. Now, I am not talking about want to succeed, education, or wanting better for your family. I am talking about kindness, taking time to thank people, or just doing something that doesn't require a "whats in it for me." Take time to look around at what you have. Stop what the fuck you're doing and think of others. People are capable of such good. Some just amaze me at what depths they will go to act like complete selfish shitheads. We are not measure by our accumulations or accolades, but by the smallest of tokens and acts of kindness we bestowe upon those in our lives. Wake up everyone, what you have is a hell of a lot more important than what you want!

2 Weeks

After some story writing, I figured that it was time for some personal comments. The last few weeks have been busy and full of new experiences. It is my Mistress's pleasure and company that I now hold more dear than I could have imagined. She is a rare blend of strength and courage that you do not find very often. My range of emotions have fluxuated from fear, to nervousness, to completely comfortable with this new direction in my life. It is what I draw from her and bravery in the face of difficult situations that most others would have given up when presented with them. I have never met a more powerful, beautiful woman who is also caring and honest. I have to wait two weeks for another chance to release. My last one at her home almost killed me. What will happen next. She has my soul in a lot of ways. Though, it was freely given by myself. I am so humbled in her presence. One might think this is because of the practice of D/s relationship. It is just the opposite. It is her beauty, both inside and out that makes this so. The title of this is 2 weeks. This is not due to my length of chastity, but my incredible journey with her and how special she is to me.

Run puppet run

He was still impaled as he struggled on all fours. The beatings were becoming so intense. The Mistress mounted him like a pony. As she sat backwards on his back, she poured more into each spanking. Ocassionally as he screamed, she would grap the hard anal beads and shake them inside him vigorously. Puppet drooled, screamed, moaned, and gasped every few seconds. He was so confused by the different sensations. The Mistress stood in front of him. She teased him with her beautiful pussy and thighs. All he wanted to do was please her, touch her, even smell her. As she teased and humiliated him, he couldn't think of anything but getting to her. So helpless. The now pathetic man was now ordered to lick her. Like a man coming out of the desert with no water, he began to please her like drinking from the sacred oasis. The Mistress moaned with pleasure as she whispered to puppet. Still blinfolded she forced him on his back. "Im going to cum all over you," she hissed. He heard her moan as the gentle spray hit his shaved chest. Her warm juices felt so good as she pleasured herself over and over. He begged her to let him cum. Slowly, the Mistress began to touch and tease him. Laughing at how worked up he was, she played with him harder. As he closed in on his orgasm, there was a new sensation. She removed the device from his ass slowly. He came with pleasure and pain at the same time. Crying out in in pleasure, the pain, the violent convulsions. She had made it were his orgasms were so intense that the physically hurt and gave immense satisfaction at the same time. There were bruised from the cuffs and irons due to his violent explosion. He collapsed, laying as if he were a worthless ball of jelly. She had broken him into her punishment, but given him the greatest orgasm he had ever had.

The Adventure continues

He had apologized at least twice for his forgetfulness. The Mistress did not care. She was not going to be happy about his disobience no matter how much he begged. "Cute she said, but it wont help you" she said. She gave him a nod as it was time for his service. She stressed again to her puppet that there are no safe words in play for punishment. He turned white wondering what his fate was to be. He was presented to Mistress in a purple lacy thong and a raging erection. As he crawled to the edge of her bed as she demanded he thought,"Oh my god, what is going to happen to me. The Mistress, ravishing as always, was dressed in a black vinyl outfit that he had help her lace. Her 4 inch heels were gleaming black as she held the flogger to his face. "Puppet, I got you a new present but it is not broken in. What should we do about that?" as she laughed. Slowly, she cuffed and leg ironed him where he was immobile. The blindfold went on as she commented "there will be no one here to hear the screams, so no gag today." He was panicked, but couldn't move. There was no way to escape as her first blow hit his ass. He winced and counted, "one thank you Mistress!" She beat him again and again on the ass. Switching from flogger, to crop, to paddle. He counted until he couldn't remember anymore. His ass was now glowing red as he was exhausted. Collapsing on the bed, still bent over, she began to lube his ass. "What in the hell is happing," his mind cried as she informed him what she was about to do. "You're my little bitch, aren't you." He whimpered yes as she shoved a toy into his ass. Puppet could make no sound but a low grunt, and loud swallow. Mistress put it in far enough to make him hold it. He looked like a little pig with a tail. Mistress laughed loudly. Then she bagen to clip clothes pins to his ass, nipples, and balls. He was so uncomfortable and she kept beating him. Suddenly, she began to whip off the pins one by one. Pain shot through puppet's body. The more he struggled, the harder and louder she laughed. Mistress pushed the toy further into him and she beat him more as he begged that he would not disobey again.

A Story

He drove into a slanted rocky driveway after a long week of work. His heart was racing with anticipation and nervousness. Why, I met her before he told himself. Getting out of the vehicle and walking up the stairs, he fixated on her smile. Waiting 21 years to try this lifestyle was beginning to overwhelm him. The Mistress greeted him with a cute hello, and then a more stern take a seat. They conversed for a hour and a half on likes, dislikes, and her philosophy of what D/s meant to her. She took him through a quiz, rating different types of play and equipment. While with every other one it seemed, she would smile like the Cheshire Cat. She would make subtle comments, giggle, or whisper a breathy good for things that he liked or wanted to try, that she also enjoyed. Now, keep in mind he hadn't been allowed to release in over a week. Full of male ego and cockiness(which she commented she would beat out of him) the puppet just wanted to be closer. Drawn in like some animal being hunted. Suddenly the conversation stopped. She looked at him with a stern, almost sterile gaze and gave her first instructions. "Go to my bathroom wash your hands and get me my lotion." He was like a robot, just going without thinking. The Mistress instructed him to begin massaging her feet and legs. With a nervous energy the puppet began to rub and massage taking her critical comments in mind when something did not please her. He made the mistake of smelling her feet with the sweet smell of the lotion driving him insane. As the puppet rubbed, she began to rub his crotch with the other leg. He began to moan trying hard to concentrate on his task. He could do anything but try to stop from releasing right there. It took everything he had. The moaning and whimpering grew louder. He could see that she was getting a little uncomfortable with it. She asked him to hand her a pair of silver panties she had asked him to bring. As he handed them to her, she immediately stuffed them in his mouth. Laughing she said, "now that's better." Then she went harder, faster, and with more purpose as he struggled to keep from losing control in his pants. He was trying to beg, but nothing but a muffled sound came out. Suddenly she stopped. Stern again the Mistress spoke, "Go in the bathroom, put on the pink panties I had you bring, wear nothing else and come downstairs." He followed her directions again to the letter. Humiliated by the fact he was in a pair of bright pink panties, in the middle of a tile floor, with nothing else on. The puppet was vulnerable, ashamed, and incredibly excited. With a small creak the Mistress opened the door behind him. As he turned around his jaw dropped. There was this stunning, intelligent woman with red boots laced up to her knees, a red dress unzipped so you could barely see her underwear, and a small bag. Panties still stuffed in his mouth, his mind raced. She informed him of a new hood she had bought for him. It came with all the extras including a pink ball gag. Placing the hood on him, the Mistress told him she would ease up on the blindfold attachment. Then, handcuffing him was easy as he was on his knees waiting for her commands. "Come here and lay on me," she commanded. As he did she whispered to him to keep count. Ten times she thunderously spanked him as he counted. Feeling as though his ass was on fire, he drooled and counted. There was a slight pause, then she began again, this time with a large hair brush. Ten time this continued as he struggled and learched in pain. She left huge horseshoe marks with the brush as he writhed in pain. She then attached the blindfold and instructed him to say nighty, night. She began to stroke him as he knelt with his hands locked behind his back and ass that seemed to be on fire. She teased and stroked him for what seemed like an eternity. Then, with drool dripping down his chest he screamed as his climax was reached. Collapsing on her lap, licking her boots all he could do was thank her. Thank You Mistress Wykked you are wonderful for giving me one of the greatest nights of my life.

Taken

When everything you've known for your entire life is taken away, how do you handle it. If you were told that the beliefs you hold on gender and manhood might be taken away, what do you do. Can I handle being made to dress or act in a more feminine way. It is no use fighting it. No use in whining or begging when you know it is coming anyway. Almost terrified over having no control in it. You are being slowly changed into thinking that your male power is not what you believed. On some levels it is exciting. In others, helpless and emasculating. I can't stop it. I can't run from it. At some levels I want it. What the hell is happening to me? I can't cum without being told. Can't stop wear and doing the things that I am ordered to do. How do you keep your masculinity when you know what your wearing. You know your obeying and being controlled. Like a prison without bars. Things are being taken and I cannot stop it. What will be taken next. What will happen next. My mind is racing.

A Break

Time for a much needed break. A step off the rat race. Time to become whole again and search for that crucial time that I cannot get back. A rare week with just family and friends. I have been looking forward to this for a long time. I have found in the last couple of weeks new friends and experiences. I will step back into them. To all of you, happy Memorial Day. It holds a special place in my heart. I will remember you all and think of you while I am gone. See you soon, be safe, and God Bless.

Insanity

What a long week and its only Tuesday. I have been meeting my assignment with apprention, but still following direction. I have had little contact due to my schedule. I continue to remain vigilant and faithful to my new direction. It is in this I find balance. A natural balance of power and servitude. I am happy although disappointed in somethings. Willingness to serve is tainted by what is good for someone else. I will achieve a level of understanding, I just don't know when or how. If this week gets any crazier, insanity will set in. Nothing wrong with a little of that as I squirm in its reminders.

A seperate issue

I am writing this seperate of the first few posts I have written. Deeply personal and turbulant things have happen to me over the last few months. This is my attempt at exercising these thoughts. It doesn't matter who reads this. What is important is the fact that I can talk on here and not be given advice or support. Just a lone voice in a dark tunnel. Where has everyone I need gone. Who do I turn to when darkness overcomes the light. It seems that being in this world is a burden to most. A fleeting gasp of air that quelches my daily needs. I wish I could explain my pain at times to those around me. Someone hand me a tool of yearning to spill my pain like some bleeding wound. Can I survive on my strength? I used to have so much. I was larger than life. Afraid of only what I couldn't grasp or understand. I got a call today which shattered my world. From a ghost, an apperition I didn't think would haunt me again. My soul, I would like to think, is kind and good. Does that mean I deserve a break or special favors. Never have I written something like this in public. Naked to anyone who stumbles across it. Not that anyone would care or be interested, but it is like being baptized in a river of terminal cries for healing. A soul is a funny thing. When you don't need it, you take for granted the way it shapes you. Where did I lose mine. How long can I cover up the abyss that is there. No one can help me with it. I certainly can't stop it. I have an issue. Seperate from my life, my soul, who I am. There is no map, no direction, no manual that can help me. Like a dark , foggy road with unforgiving turns. I will continue tommorrow night with my usual subject. I just can't ignore the 800 pound Gorilla in the room tonight. Multitudes of friends I have, but none are closer that spectators on the shore as a ship passes by. This is my fault. Allowing only those whom I trust implicitly to even get near the inner circle in my life. This week I made a stand for what is right, just and fair. Where did that inner strength come from. Some days my deep well is dry. Barren as the desert. Can it be that my reserves are running out. I will find a way and have found some fuel in those I have just met. Physcology would tell me with either the beliefs of Frued or Jung, that formative years, dreams, or childhood had something to do with all this. I refute all of that. It is what I allow to happen, and how I perceive it that created this. I have seen horrible things. Nightmares while awake. I just wish this time, with what is going on personally someone would shake me out of it. Tell me its a dream. Today I saw first hand how much certain things mean. What pure, unadulterated love is and how I take that for granted. How and why are not important. Just seperate issues that define where and who I am.

Humiliation and Questions

I am totally engulfed in panic. What do I do? The newest task she has given me is now total control. Mistress is as beautiful a woman as anyone. Although now she has given me a task that is close to complete control as anything I could imagine. I will not tell everyone what this task is or how it is to be carried out(I will leave that to her)but I am in a complete helpless panic. Considering myself fairly good looking, or at very least not a troll, I now cannot hit on any other women. She has removed my ability to control any situation with the opposite sex. Talking with her last night she made it clear what was mine is now hers. I am not allowed to control my own orgasms, and now its even worse. God, I want to just crawl in a hole. What if someone finds out? When will I have even a marginal amount of control over my own sex life again? Is there a 911 I can call to help me. Looking into her eyes the anwser is most definently no. I try to buck and kick, but I am now a piece of property. How can I be wearing these? What would happen to me if someone wanted me and saw this? So utterly humiliating and controlling. I know it will do me no goood to beg, plead, or whine. Humiliation is not complete but well on its way. How long till I like wearing these? I blush will a pink hue. Help!!!

Longing

As I come to the end of this long, and somewhat interesting week I am very reflective on its events. Clearly, I have realized that what we do can define who we are, but more importantly it defines our path. I have a quote I always remember that goes "To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with selfish need, and that is sincerity and integrity." I believe in this journey of submission I have learned more about myself than almost any time in my life. It is because my needs are not as paramount or important as those who I choose to give my service to. My will melts in a pool of deep sacrifice and adoration with each text, call, or meeting. Knowing I will not see her for a couple of weaks is like weening an addict of some strong drug. Longing to know what she is thinking or wanting of me is intoxicating. Sometimes it seems as if my soul is being torn from my old, vanilla life into something that is so much more difficult. Abstract at times. I now live in a prison of service. A prison that i gladly would lock the cell door behind me and throw away the key. Her control of my orgasms makes me want to do it more and more. How can anyone do little or nothing from miles away and make me feel like I'm being interrogated in the same room. I mastrubated for 80 minutes today without relief. Praying, wishing, hoping she would call and let me but it did not come. I long for everything that she will give. Longing for this power over me has become so much more than I can put into words. What is going to be the next step. Can I please and withstand her power.

Journal

What a long evening and week. I miss seeing my Mistress. She is so wonderful and engaging. As I talk to her I get lost in her sultry and often thoughtful voice. I am hyptnotized by her intoxicateing control of will. I followed her instructions tonight to the letter with 40 minutes of touching myself, which is a subtle torture. Although she did allow me to release, I want to serve and make her happy. Her kind, intelligent, but stern manner make my mind squirm with desire and comfort. I am so ready to throw myself into this lifestyle like a child learning to walk. I gain pleasure through her power. Strength through serving. Above all a unique sense of self that comes from serving a woman of such beauty and power. I loved pleasing her last night with my video. My caged spirit feels free in her grasp